The Joys of Jell-O Recipe #158: Tomato Pineapple Surprise

Howdy Jigglers. To be completely honest here, I have been putting off writing about Tomato Pineapple Surprise for a while, simply because I don't want to think about it again. But I figure I need to do it sometime, because until it's done, I feel guilty throwing the stuff away, and having it in my refrigerator is much worse than thinking about it.

Based on my experiences with the Quick Tomato Mold, I was none too pleased when my husband picked this out as my next Jell-O recipe, but my spirits were somewhat uplifted when I saw the pineapple variation, especially as I already had some pineapple in the freezer, and at least I had some nice fresh tomatoes to stew up.

So I stewed them up with just a little salt, sugar, and parsley, and I made the rest of the recipe as written, substituting the lemon Jell-O for unflavored beef gelatin flavored with a splash of lemon extract. The tomatoes smelled amazing the entire time they were cooking, as well as mixed with pineapple, vinegar, and allspice. And no, I didn't mold this in the can, since I didn't have any cans due to the fresh tomatoes and leftover pineapple. I was hoping that this would make a decent vegetable side dish for my packed lunches, so I put most of the mixture into small plastic food storage containers.

Tomato aspics and similar dishes always do look striking, but I have never been able to like them. The Quick Tomato Mold just tasted like pizza sauce that had been sitting out too long, and this just tasted like ketchup that had been sitting out too long. The pineapple didn't taste like anything; it only served to make the whole thing a little more chunky, which didn't help the flavor. I couldn't taste the lemon or allspice whatsoever. It. Was. Just. Chunky. Ketchup. It really tasted like that bit of congealed ketchup that gets stuck around the hinge of the ketchup squeeze bottle lid, which makes sense because the main flavors are tomato, vinegar, and sugar. But that's not a good thing.

I suppose if you were making some fancy-pants Hawaiian sliders with your King's Hawaiian bread, some melty cheese, and maybe some mayonnaise, a slice of Tomato Pineapple Surprise would make a suitable alternative to ketchup. That is about the only situation I can think of in which this would be at all palatable. I don't know what General Foods was thinking when they made this recipe, except maybe "The boss said we only have one more day to finish compiling recipes, and he says there aren't enough savory recipes yet..."

The other thing that annoyed me was the name. What in heaven's name is supposed to be surprising about this? It's gelatinized tomato, which is obvious upon a cursory glance, and it also contains pineapple, which is also not even slightly hidden. I guess "Tomato Pineapple" wouldn't be a very good name, but at least it isn't a falsehood. Another detail of note: this recipe made about two cups' worth, which is more than you'll ever need in your life.

So now that that's done, and I have a much better recipe in store for next time, I'm going to go toss the rest of the Tomato Pineapple Surprise, because I ate one of my containers of it in its entirety, and now just looking at them makes me feel ill.

The Joys of Jell-O Recipe #65: Banana Splits

Howdy, Jigglers! Sometimes, life brings you lemons and you need to make lemonade. Other times, life brings you bananas, and in that case you naturally start scouring vintage Jell-O cookbooks for a dessert that requires only cheap or free ingredients and bananas. Right?

Anyhow, that's the situation in which I found myself last week, and so I chose to make Banana Splits because I already had one lonely packet of Dream Whip, the bananas, and the gelatin. The only question was, how should I flavor the gelatin in a way that will complement whipped cream and bananas?

I briefly thought over a few standard juice flavors, but then I decided to be just a little bit more creative and tropical with a pina colada-flavored gelatin. I got a can of first-press coconut milk and a can of pineapples, of which I used the juice (stay tuned for my next post to see how I used the pineapple, and get ready to cue the scare chords) to make my breezy tropical gelatin, with only one tablespoon of sugar and one-and-a-half tablespoons of gelatin dissolved in it. If you want boozy banana splits, I imagine adding a couple of splashes of rum to the mix would really take it over the top. Other than that, I made this recipe as written, even following the Dream Whip directions to the letter. Looking at the recipe, it seems as though a maraschino cherry garnish would be appropriate, but you honestly won't miss it.

  Maybe it's my fault, but I have never had flaked gelatin turn out with a flaky texture. One time it came out merely granular, and this time "flaking" the gelatin just seemed to slice it more than anything. In this instance, it might be partially due to the higher-than-normal fat content of the gelatin, but it might also be due to the tines of my forks not being far enough apart. So my advice to anyone wanting to flake gelatin is to use a big fork, such as a serving fork, preferably with squared tine edges to achieve a decent flake.

Other than that, this recipe turned out really, really well. The creaminess of the coconut gelatin, bananas, and Dream Whip was just luxurious considering how relatively healthy it all is, and the nuts (I used pecans) provided a great textural contrast.

In terms of servings, this recipe makes enough gelatin and whipped cream to make three deluxe banana splits, four standard banana splits, or up to eight mini banana splits (using half of one banana apiece), though it certainly depends on how much coconut milk and pineapple juice you have. The way I made it, though, was quite delicious, and I commend General Foods for coming up with a tasty alternative to an ordinary ice cream-based banana split.

Way Out There Recipe #2: Hanuda Noodles (from Siren)

Howdy, Jigglers! I'm back with another strange recipe, although I have to tell you, this one contains minimal quantities of gelatin. 

This story begins with a Playstation 2 game named Siren, which is an atmospheric and notoriously slow Japanese survival horror title. At one point in the game, which takes place in a fictional town called Hanuda, you find a note bearing a recipe for a very odd bowl of ramen noodles, and you see a shibito (Siren's version of zombies) policeman chowing down on the selfsame noodles in a cafe.

I love Siren, I love cooking, and I even love ramen, so I knew I had to make this dish. The recipe is as follows (thanks to the Siren Archive Files Guide for the transcription):

Recipe For Hanuda Noodles

      Hanuda Noodles: a local specialty.  Mention Hanuda, and these noodles
      instantly come to mind.  The chewy strands are unsurpassed in firmness
      and texture.  The broth, a delicate melange of sweetness and spiciness, 
      acts as the perfect compliment to the noodles.  How to prepare Hanuda
      Noodles:

           1. Boil noodles for 3 minutes in a large pot of boiling water.
           2. Drain water and rinse noodles well in cold water.
           3. Place noodles in broth made of soup stock, chili, vinegar, sake,
              and sugar.  Top with organic strawberry jam.  Serve with
              seasonal fruits if desired.

This photo is in the game with the recipe

Now, since neither Hanuda nor its firm noodles exist in reality, I subbed in regular ramen

noodles. I of course included the seminal ingredient, strawberry jam, but I also did happen 

to have a cucumber on hand, so I put in a few slices, and ditto for the egg. I did not happen 

to have fresh strawberries, so I omitted them. I cannot positively identify the whitish 

vegetable in the back of the bowl, but it might be the white portion of a green onion, so I 

garnished the bowl with some green onions. It appears that the bowl in the photo was 

garnished with some crushed peanuts, but I omitted that too. Sorry.

The other issue in making this dish was getting the broth right, since it needed to be a

delicate melange and all. I figured I would do this right by starting with a base of homemade

chicken stock (there's the gelatin!), to which I added a hearty splash of sake, several hearty 

dashes of some very hot chili powder, and two dainty splashes of rice vinegar. I completely 

and totally forgot about the sugar in this recipe, but I used a pretty low-grade sake, so it was

plenty sweet regardless. Always taste and adjust seasonings, especially when making oddball 

flavor combinations!

Other than a few ingredient substitutions, I made the recipe as written, even managing to

soft-boil an egg perfectly, which I can almost never do. And the taste was...alright, actually.

I probably overdid the chili powder, but the sweetness of the jam cut it nicely, and the

broth itself was so good that my husband told me I need to make regular ramen with it. Even

the onion didn't clash with the rest of the flavors. The only main problem was that the jam

bascially overpowers the other elements of the dish when you get a bite with jam. Maybe

it's because I didn't use organic strawberry jam, or maybe it wouldn't have been quite so

sweet with homemade jam, but it didn't ruin the noodles regardless.

I ended up thinking I would probably eat this outside of novelty purposes, but my husband

disagreed. Regardless, it was a pleasure getting to taste test such an odd recipe from such a

beloved-but-odd story. Thanks, Project Siren, for your culinary contributions to the world!