The Joys of Jell-O Recipe #158: Tomato Pineapple Surprise

Howdy Jigglers. To be completely honest here, I have been putting off writing about Tomato Pineapple Surprise for a while, simply because I don't want to think about it again. But I figure I need to do it sometime, because until it's done, I feel guilty throwing the stuff away, and having it in my refrigerator is much worse than thinking about it.

Based on my experiences with the Quick Tomato Mold, I was none too pleased when my husband picked this out as my next Jell-O recipe, but my spirits were somewhat uplifted when I saw the pineapple variation, especially as I already had some pineapple in the freezer, and at least I had some nice fresh tomatoes to stew up.

So I stewed them up with just a little salt, sugar, and parsley, and I made the rest of the recipe as written, substituting the lemon Jell-O for unflavored beef gelatin flavored with a splash of lemon extract. The tomatoes smelled amazing the entire time they were cooking, as well as mixed with pineapple, vinegar, and allspice. And no, I didn't mold this in the can, since I didn't have any cans due to the fresh tomatoes and leftover pineapple. I was hoping that this would make a decent vegetable side dish for my packed lunches, so I put most of the mixture into small plastic food storage containers.

Tomato aspics and similar dishes always do look striking, but I have never been able to like them. The Quick Tomato Mold just tasted like pizza sauce that had been sitting out too long, and this just tasted like ketchup that had been sitting out too long. The pineapple didn't taste like anything; it only served to make the whole thing a little more chunky, which didn't help the flavor. I couldn't taste the lemon or allspice whatsoever. It. Was. Just. Chunky. Ketchup. It really tasted like that bit of congealed ketchup that gets stuck around the hinge of the ketchup squeeze bottle lid, which makes sense because the main flavors are tomato, vinegar, and sugar. But that's not a good thing.

I suppose if you were making some fancy-pants Hawaiian sliders with your King's Hawaiian bread, some melty cheese, and maybe some mayonnaise, a slice of Tomato Pineapple Surprise would make a suitable alternative to ketchup. That is about the only situation I can think of in which this would be at all palatable. I don't know what General Foods was thinking when they made this recipe, except maybe "The boss said we only have one more day to finish compiling recipes, and he says there aren't enough savory recipes yet..."

The other thing that annoyed me was the name. What in heaven's name is supposed to be surprising about this? It's gelatinized tomato, which is obvious upon a cursory glance, and it also contains pineapple, which is also not even slightly hidden. I guess "Tomato Pineapple" wouldn't be a very good name, but at least it isn't a falsehood. Another detail of note: this recipe made about two cups' worth, which is more than you'll ever need in your life.

So now that that's done, and I have a much better recipe in store for next time, I'm going to go toss the rest of the Tomato Pineapple Surprise, because I ate one of my containers of it in its entirety, and now just looking at them makes me feel ill.